Baby Beanie

it's so tiny now that it's hard to believe it actually fit you once upon a time. (gosh it's all gone by so fast, and though i sit here trying to remember all the details, some of it is now just a blur). it's been flattened to store away in your keepsake book. (i remember waiting for hours to see you when they took you to the NICU). it fits in the palm of my hand. (i remember not being able to sleep, being so scared to take my eyes off you). it has pink and blue stripes, made for a girl or a boy. (i remember being afraid to hold you, you looked so fragile and breakable). these little hospital caps have been the same forever, granny kept mine and it looks exactly the same. (i remember you smiling in your sleep when you were not even a day old). the little edges are frayed. (i remember being so mad at the doctor's for taping that IV so tight around your arm that it looked like it was cutting of your circulation). it's so thin, i wonder why they thought it would keep your little bald head warm. (i remember how calm and satisfied you were after they finally let me give you some formula). it's stretchy, i suppose i could try to fit it over your head now. (i remember you lying next to daddy, and the both of you sleeping so soundly, i think it may have cried). Oh gosh, my eyes are tearing up just thinking about it.